I found myself watching the conclusion of the Royal Wedding Saturday morning. In all honesty, I had totally forgotten about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle getting married. So when I switched on the tele, ‘God Save The Queen’ was being played and the recessional was beginning.
My wife Barb would have been up at 4am to watch this. My guess is she was watching just from a much better vantage point.
The bride. The groom. The dress. The vows. The kiss. The promise. So many beautiful, meaningful moments. Barb absolutely loved weddings, as do I, and I think she would agree with me that one of the most moving moments of a wedding is when the groom sees his bride for the first time.
When escorting my oldest daughter down the aisle a few years ago, I was focused on the face of her soon to be husband. When he first saw her, his face lit up with a joyful smile and there was something like a radiance shining on him. Truly touching and a confirmation that my daughter was most definitely marrying the right man.
I remember standing at the altar myself waiting for my bride to make her way to me. When Barb and her father entered the sanctuary, I couldn’t see her until they made the turn to come down the aisle. I smiled and cried at the same time instantly. How in the world did this beautiful woman, both inside and out, choose me. I was overwhelmed with emotion. As she walked closer, I was able to gather myself and after accepting her hand from her father, I whispered to her ‘you are gorgeous, a princess, and I love you more than anything.’
Which instantly made her cry. Tears of joy I like to think.
I believe all grooms see their bride as a princess and apparently, Prince Harry did. Word is he whispered to his bride, ‘You look like a princess.’ I’m sure the hearts of millions of women melted at that point as they watched the ceremony. I know mine was touched and brought back the memory of our wedding.
Love is a powerful thing that can be quite difficult to figure out. At the beginning of the relationship, you are getting to know each other. Then slowly deeper emotions develop. A greater connection forms. The two of you are experimenting with the thought that maybe this is the right person. Love takes root and begins to grow in your hearts.
Then something happens. It can be almost anything but something happens that threatens your relationship. You begin to question. You begin to doubt. You might even begin to pull apart. Is this really the right person.
Perhaps that’s it. The relationship is over. Or perhaps through that something, that challenge, the two of you are able to work it out. To reconcile. To talk about it and grow from it. Together. Stronger. Deeper.
I have learned that relationships and especially marriage are works in process. An emotional journey that never really ends. There are struggles. Barb and I had a number of them. We came close once to calling it quits when the pressures of life around us became great. But we didn’t quit and we grew closer together through the struggle.
I want you to know that the love Barb and I had for each other was not the only thing that got us through. There were two other factors.
One was our commitment to one another. Even in those few times we didn’t like each other very much, we held to the commitment we had made to each other that this was going to be a lifelong love. No matter what mistakes either of us would make, we would do all that we could to hold to our commitment and hold on to one another. I’m thankful we were able to do that.
In tying the knot, love and commitment made a strong two thread cord in our marriage but a three thread cord is much stronger. And that third thread is faith. Not in one another as that was really our commitment, but faith in the One we asked to bless our marriage and to stand beside us and walk with us through all that may come our way.
Faith is nothing you can see or touch but when you ask God to join you in your marriage, He will be there to carry the two of you through whatever comes. He will be there to strengthen your relationship with one another and with Him so that your love may become complete. The three of you will be strong together so that the two of you can withstand whatever comes.
I believe the key is keeping God closely involved in your relationship. He will always be there if you’ve asked him to but you must also be there. Staying in love with Him and growing deeper in your relationship with Him. Just as your love for one another grows, you must together as individuals and a couple, continue to not only have faith in God but grow closer to Him. Go deeper. Trust more. Talk more. Listen more.
For our almost 32 years of marriage, Barb and I did all that we could to keep that three thread cord strong. We stretched it pretty hard at times but it and we held together. The three of us kept at it and just as our wedding vow called out, only death was able to separate us.
But that’s only true in the human sense, in this world. My love for Barb and God, our relationship, continues on as I can feel both of them present in my life. The chord has not been broken. The love grows strong. Death has no power over the promise and presence of love everlasting.
The month of June is coming up and so will be many weddings for many wonderful couples. It is my wish and prayer for all of them that they invite that third thread to join them and let it make their marriage, their love, the strongest it can be.
See You Down The Road.